OK, so I'm in the supermarket checkout line and a headline in one of the tabloids catches my eye, "...Jesus to return within weeks..." it screams. It has the obligatory Eurocentric image of our Savior (I'm guessing He had olive colored skin like most Jews of the time instead of the commonly pictured pale Northern European palor seen more frequently) and some group who claims to have had a vision. This got me to thinking about the whole Christian endtimes industry. Now, I don't mean to go off on a rant here but these guys are less creditable than Gary Condit's signature on a "True Love Waits" card. I mean every year we hear some self-proclaimed phophet of God pop off about how the Lord is coming back on such and such a date and that all true Christians will do some really unthinkably dumb thing such as selling all of their worldly possessions or taking all of the red pills or drinking the Koolaid. Then the date comes and goes and, assuming there are still living people to notice the person's error, the person claims that it was only through their intercessory prayer that the end was avoided so that more of the unwashed heathen might come to find salvation in the prophet's "one true way."
Now, I may be wrong here but the last time I checked the leather bound play book known as the Holy Bible that Coach wrote with some help from the offensive coordinator Jesus (former All American Quarterback from Nazareth U.) and that mastermind of a defensive coordinator H. Ghost, that paticular play was missing from the game plan. In the endtimes section there's a blank page that says "For Coach's Eyes Only". The day and time are UNKNOWN! It says that, in black, white and red. Not "unknown to everyone but big BillyBob Baptist from Beaufort". Not "unknown to everyone but Reverend Ed and his special brand of followers who shave their heads in that very special way". Unknown to everyone but the Father. That includes the coordinators and all the leaders and all the followers and everyone else. No exceptions.
How do I know this is true? Well, besides the fact that it's clearly stated in the really cool book of God, there's the fact that every single person who has claimed otherwise has been wrong. Not just sort of wrong. Not kind of wrong. Dead (in some cases literally) wrong. And this isn't just something that afflicts the so-called fringes of Christianity. Just look at all the books published in the couple of years leading up to the millenium. The Y2K bug was going to be the end of the world. I mean The End. A lot of the prophecy wags sold an awful lot of air time claiming that the end was near. January 1 was going to be it; finito Benito. Well guess what? I'm still finding the books these people published (and a bunch of poor gullible Christians bought) in bargain bins and at thrift stores. They were WRONG!!!! Just like everyone else before them. The sad thing is that most of these people are still out there claiming to have a date. Even sadder is that there are people still listening.
Why are they listening? Well, these people claim to have signs. Last time I checked, the second line on that "Endtimes" page in the playbook says that the day will come like a thief in the night. Thieves usually don't give signs. That's kind of the point of all the sneaking around bits that are usually associated with thievery. Why has God been so secretive? Is He waiting for the moment when He gets to spring it on us and then fall over laughing and saying, "You should have seen the look on your face...HA, HA, HO, HO, HE, HE, HE....."? I don't think so.
Ever had an important relative coming over to your place (say like your mother???) and you have to get ready? If you know when she's going to drop by there is a general slovenliness that prevails until about two days before the visit and then the mad rush to clean everything within an inch of it's life commences. Now, what would life be like if the last day were known. Heck, even Madonna would go to confession that last week. So remember, you aren't supposed to know, it's all about about faith. We're to Run the Race and keep our eyes fixed on, not the finish line, but "Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith". That's because we don't know where, exactly, the finish line is. The Race isn't as much about the destination as the journey.
Of course, that's just my opinion, I could be wrong.
