Chad's spot for various thoughts, musings, poetry, ideas and whatnot

Monday, June 24, 2002

Keeping the Rubber Side Down

Well, race weekend is over and I got through it OK. Actually I did better than OK. I managed to take 4th in the time trial and 18th in the road race. More than that though, I met all of my goals. I rode the time trial at lactate threshold and set a personal record with a speed of 24 mph over the 8.5 mile course. In the road race I really animated the race. On the second lap I spent ten miles on a solo breakaway. I moved up and down the peloton with ease and I sprinted well into the finish. Most importantly, I kept the rubber side of the bike down.

The interesting thing was when I called my Dad. I told him about the race and he was really excited for me. But he was perplexed too. I had done OK resultswise but I hadn't won. How could I feel so good about things? He didn't see it terms of goals but in terms of results. If I didn't win then, well, didn't I lose? Everytime I think about it I have to smile. Then I have to think about why I'm smiling and that's when I realize that the weekend is a metaphor.

Life is the same way. There's two ways to look at life. You can count wins and look at everything else as loses or you can look at it in terms of goals and progress. A year ago I could barely ride 8.5 miles solo at 20 mph and now I can ride it at 24 and that's on a tough course with wind. Yeah I lost but man what a great way to lose. I could say, "Yeah well 24's Ok and all but there were guys who rode better than that. I really suck." Or I could say, "Man, one year ago I couldn't have dreamed of doing this and here I am and I've just done it. Cool!" There was a guy in grad school I knew that had the first attitude about everything anyone ever did. He wondered why he couldn't get to sleep at night.

When we look at things in terms of win/lose we get ourselves in trouble. It all comes from comparing ourselves to others. No matter how hard we try to be objective we always find someone else who we think has done more than we have and then we look at ourselves as losers. Man, what a bummer. Lance Armstrong rides the bike a whole lot better than I ever will, than I ever would have if I had started racing when I was 15. Does that mean I'm a loser as a bike racer? Well, if I compare myself to Lance and measure my accomplishments by his, yeah I am. But if I set my own goals and use Lance as an inspiration that a person who works hard can achieve what he or she sets out to do then I don't think of things in terms of winning and losing. I can take joy in my successes and I can learn from my failures. When you think of it, there's probably a little of each in most of what we do. Could I have done things better in the time trial or the bike race? Sure. But I can learn from those and get faster and I can have a lot of fun getting there. What's my next goal? Watch out 25mph...it's the new holy grail.

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Friday, June 21, 2002

Friday Evening and Musings about the Bike

Its Friday evening and my lovely wife and I have chosen to spend a quiet evening at home. Quiet, that is, except for Elvis and Moxie's talking to herself. Still though, even with the chatter, the evening has been peaceful. Its something we need I think. We've been going pretty hard the last week. We've had a lot of fun but after a while you begin to wear down a bit, at least I do. So we're spending some down time. We thought about going and seeing Spiderman but the more we thought about it the more we realized how much we were enjoying relaxing with no particular place to go.

Tomorrow I'll race against the clock. Me, the bike, the wind and the clock. No peloton, no fear of crashing because someone pulled his brakes at the wrong time. Just pure motion and exertion. I'm looking forward to it with that mix of excitement and apprehension that I always feel before a race. I'm excited to test myself but I always struggle with the fear of failure. Last time I rode a time trial I finished third out of seventy. I was really excited. How will I do this time? What if I don't do as well? What if....? This is when I understand Tyler Hamilton's words about riding Le Tour this year or Lance's comments before the Olympic Time Trial in 2000. "I'm going to go out and ride at my best level." That's my goal for tomorrow. A good old Boy Scout "Do my best." If I go out and ride at my LT heart rate and focus throughout the eight miles and finish first then great. If I do the same thing and finish 50th then I'll be just as happy. I'll know I have a lot more work to do to be competitive but I'll still be able to say that I gave it everything. If I go out and only ride at 80% of LT and I get all distracted by self-doubt then I'll be frustrated. But I'll also try to learn.

Its funny. As much as I love the feel of being in the aero bars I really don't feel like I'm riding a bike. In the aerobars I feel a bit like some sort of superhero or maybe like Lance in those great pictures Graham Watson takes of him riding in that areo tuck. I feel like some sort of super special athlete. But that's not what riding a bike feels like. I mean, sure, riding the bike has a lot of those qualities but there's something a little more whimsical and romantic about it. Even when you're racing or suffering up some terminally long hill. Your hands belong on the hoods where you can feel the road like its part of you. You're sitting up a little and you watch the world go by. You feel just like a kid with all that freedom. That's why I always take the aero bars off my bike after I'm done training. If I leave them on then I'll be tempted to use them (you do go a lot faster) and if I use them too much then I'm afraid I'll forget what its like to ride a bike and just become another athlete.

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Saturday, June 15, 2002

Metaphorical Reasons

One of my favorite musical artists is folk musician David Wilcox. He is an excellent artist of both tune and word and I just picked up his latest CD, Live Songs and Stories. Now if you've ever had the pleasure to see Dave in concert you know that a lot of the enjoyment comes from hearing the stories he tells between songs while tuning up or whatever. This latest CD captures these moments excellently. One of the stories is titled "Metaphorical Reasons."

The story is about the various metaphors that work their way into his music and the process by which that happens. he tells that oftentimes they jump him when he isn't looking and isn't really aware what's going on. The key thing that clues him in that something deeper and more metaphorical is going on is that he gets "bugged". When I heard him talk about this on the CD it was like this rayfrom heaven shone down on me. I was like, "Wow! So that's why that happens." I'll go somewhere and something happens and I'll get really bugged. I mean, it's like all out of proportion to what's really going on. I use words like wrong and bad in a truly moral sense to describe a situation which is way overreacting. Kathy has begun to recognize when these moments are coming on and sometimes she feels the same way. Now I understand why this happens. There's something metaphorical going on underneath the obvious that's getting to me but I'm not seeing it.

Dave has a great example about shoipping. I really dislike shopping sometimes. I get bugged. Like Dave says shopping can be a metaphor for life. You go into the store to find one thing and then all of the sudden there's this "Blue Light Special" and before you know it you're holding a bunch of shiny junk and you're in the "CHECKOUT LINE". Now, how's that for a metaphor. And if you're not careful, it's the express lane and there's no getting out. I'll leave it to you to figure out the rest. For my part I have to thank Dave for giving me license to get bugged every once and a while and for prodding me to look for the metaphorical reasons.

Finally, I don't mean to sound like a shill here, but I really would recommend the album. It's just real. Not really great or awesome orsome other stupidly overused adjective that hyper marketing machines use. The CD is real and it speaks to the part of you that wants to retch everytime you hear an N'Sync or Backstreet Boys or some other music industry copycat song. it tells you that things are going to be alright and there is an alternative to the mysoginistic lyrics of Eminem or the sex, drugs and money ethos found in 90% of what's produced today. In our house we have a staircase that's 112 years old. The rail is wooden and curved. Its handmade and worn down by thousands and thousands of trips by probably hundreds of different hands. Its real. Dave's music is like that. The Christians who reaad this will appreciate Dave's faith centered approach that doesn't become way overboard like a lot of CCM today. the non-Christians will enjoy his voice and will find truth in what he writes about.

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Monday, June 10, 2002

A Long Time Coming

Well, it's been a week since I last wrote. No excuses except that I got a bit busier than I anticipated and this blog is pretty low on the priority list. Navel gazing isn't something I spend as much time doing as I probably should. I'm guessing I'd probably rant less and be a much more centered dude if I did but then you wouldn't be as entertained if that were the case I suppose. That's a discussion for another day I think. As for today, I offer the following:

Dusk

05/12/02
C. Davies

A day fades, slowly, gently into night
It’s passing marked by breeze and birdsong.

Midnight blue unfurls its long train across the celestial canopy
Blown by a warm, soft current from the east.

Heralded by brilliant Jove’s appearance in the west
The evening slips on like a royal silk robe.

Wisps of clouds, dreams illuminated
Pastel, pink and peach against an aqua sky.

Grey bearded old oaks become silhouettes standing guard
Set against a fading light, murmuring confidences long known.

Slow rising, the swell of a night’s song carries on the velvet
Sweet and high harmonies of uncountable voices.

Jewel toned luminaries appear from within the folds of the brocaded robe
To dance the night’s slow and stately waltz in perfect time.

And so begins the night’s gala pageant, festival and feast
Richly and royally heralded and received.

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Monday, June 03, 2002

Relaxed beginnings

Summer school starts here tomorrow. Today is registration and that's always an interesting time. Since we have preregistration here (even for new, incoming students) and we have on-line add/drop most of the students we see are "last minute" students. They've decided to take classes here at the last minute. Sometimes that's because an opportunity has opened up and allowed them to get a class in. More often, however, the reasons aren't as optimistic as that. Students find out that they've failed classes and so are now scrambling to get back on track. Some decided, "Hey, I don't have anything better to do so why not go to summer school..." Others are just chornically late or lacksidasical. In all these cases I am amazed that the student wants to try a four week, "Drinking from the fire hose" approach to the class. I mean there's almost no room for error in these courses. One overslept day usually means that your grade drops a whole letter and usually these students can't afford to have that happen.

More amusingly is that fact that many of the students come totally unprepared. Usually, the conversation goes something like this:

Student: Hi, I'd like to take some summer courses at Gordon.
Me: Cool, do you have an academic summary for me?
Student: Uh....what's that?
Me: Are you a readmit, transient or new student?
Student: Uh....yeah...
Me: Have you been over to the admissions office?
Student: Uh...am I supposed to go there first?
Me: Yes, go over and make sure your file is all squared away and then come back with an academic summary and we'll be good to go.
Student: OK...I'll be back

15 minutes passes...student returns...with freshly printed academic summary in hand

Student: Ok, I got that thing you needed.
Me: Great...what courses did you want to take?
Student: I need Chemistry and Calc I
Me: We don't offer Chemistry in the summer and Calc I is full, do you have a summer schedule?
Student: Uh....

As you can tell, this sort of advising can be a highly rewarding experience for both me and the student. So, the only approach to take is to chill out and relax. You can't really invest much in the students you see so you just try to have a totally cool attitude and let it all slide. Tonight I'll share some of the stories with my wife and we'll laugh. That's not to say I don't try to help the students that come to see me, but I'm not going to get all wrapped up in their poor planning crisis. The students with their bouyant waterfowl achieving linear symmetry have already got their classes and will be here, ready to go tomorrow. Today is just preliminaries.

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