Chad's spot for various thoughts, musings, poetry, ideas and whatnot

Monday, November 24, 2003

A Full Life

Somewhere along the way I developed a few ideas of how life was supposed to be lived. I'm not sure exactly where these ideas came from but I have a feeling it was from plays like "Our Town" and "Death of a Salesman", movies such as "Dead Poets Society" and biographies too numerous to mention. Central to my conception of how life is to be lived is that it is to be lived fully and actively. No sitting on the couch and watching how other people may or may not live their lives; to have a life, you must live it. To truly live life you must appreciate each moment for what it holds and not keep looking forward to the future to find happiness or to the past to remember it. Life happens in the now. We should plan for the future and we should learn the lessons the past teaches us but the living happens in the moment.

Anyone who knows me knows that this is how I live. I don't watch much TV aside from sporting events, I don't waste my time or money on movies with old, used up story lines or uninspired acting and I don't read fiction at all. Why watch people act when I can do it myself? Why read about made up stories when I can write the story of my own life? This isn't to say that a person can't profit from these things but I just see way too much to do to not be deeply and heavily involved in the business of living each and every moment of my own life. The major frustration I have in life is that I can't do more sometimes. There are opportunities that I'd like to seize that I don't have time for. There are things that I'd like to explore that will cause me to neglect the priorities and commitments that I've already made.

The other day though, I had an interesting revelation. Somewhere along the line I also picked up the idea that if I live a full life, time would slow down. That somehow life wouldn't feel like it was slipping by so quickly. I'm learning that this particular pre-conception of life is wrong. The time still goes by quickly. What the poets and prophets and wise men are trying to say isn't, "If you lead a full life, time will slow down and you'll have more life to enjoy," but, instead they are really saying is, "The days pass quickly, whether no matter how you live them. Don't waste what time you have on foolishness. Time is a currency evenly measured out to all with no regard to rank or status or situation. It can not be saved or hoarded or increased; only spent wisely." I think that the point of all the wisdom I received was to tell me that each moment should be treasured as if it were one of the last you might be granted. With that in mind, what really has value in a person's life?

For me it is the time spent in my wife's arms, the instantaneous eternity of communing with my God and Savior, the moments considering a truly new and startling idea, the almost timeless effort of pedaling a bicycle, the legacy of loving others, the youth of laughter, the perseverence of friendships, the undying beauty of the heavens and the Earth. When examined in this sort of light, so much seems like such a waste. Bad TV, movies and books, arguing with anyone and with small people with little ideas especially, hatred and bigotry, taunting and trash-talking, drunkeness and dissipation, lust and the sex it leads to, the pursuit of power, gain and wealth for its own sake only, little gods with mundane power or impersonal gods with big power, art that destroys or degrades, psudoscience and mumbo-jumbo, snake-oil poppycock.

I want to live life fully, unabashedly, abundantly. I want to do that now. I don't want to wait until tomorrow and I don't want to rest on the remeberance of yesterday. I may not be here tomorrow and I can't really relive the past but what I have is now. I will live now with the knowledge and wisdom the past has given me and the understanding that if I am given the gift of tomorrow I will need to be prepared to live it fully as well.

Thanks to Jeff Weiss for writing a play that so eloquently reminded me of this and to the cast and crew of A Christmas Carol; Kathy, Jeff, Colby, Ryan, Rafael, Joe, Brian, Cario, Kim, Dianna, Summer, Tiffany, Mickey, Kelly, Virginia, Ian, Erin, Aaron, Diana and all the rest, here at Gordon College, for bringing it to life.

God Bless Us, Every One!

The Physicist   Link Me    |

Wednesday, November 12, 2003

Movie Critics

OK, I've finally had enough. I've decided that most movie critics are, in actuality, brain dead syncophants with little or no intellect or learning. They are the people in my classes who wait until the last minute to read the articles I assign and then write lame, uninspired and incorrect summaries of them that involve no critical thinking or analytical skills what-so-ever. They don't have time to actually sit down and understand the writer's or director's motive, an actor's inspiration, a cinematographer's sensabilities. All they seem to care about is whether what they are watching is new and/or shocking and, thus, "cool".

What has driven me to this fit of rage? The reviews of the final installment of Matrix Trilogy, of course. Actually, it is the reviews of all of the movies. If you're not smart enough to understand the philosophical discourse, you should really just shut your mouth or at least say that you're incapable of understanding the plot because you were too busy trying to score with that cute other person in your Philosophy 101 course to actually understand the fundamental ideas of epistimology (the theory of knowledge) or the debate over free will vs. determinism. If you look at the reviews of the first movie they were generally dismissive until, all of the sudden, the movie became "cool". What that really means is that somebody finally explained the movie in small enough words for the movie critics to understand. Which, of course, means that they really didn't understand. They didn't see the symbolism or the philosophy or the culture of a generation younger than them dealing with the messes their generation has left behind. But that's a whole different rant.

So now they're bitter. They don't get to belong to the club because they don't have the intellectual firepower to access the material so they do what all bitter people do; which is tear down what they don't understand. They don't understand the issues and values of the generation that created this movie so they trash it instead of saying that they are ignorant.

So, here is a review you can count on. The movie is for people who get it. If you can track along with the philosophy and the generational perspective you'll like the movie a lot. You'll relate to the characters and why they might hold each other instead of going into a groping, liplocked frenzy when they think they might have been separated from each other for all time. You'll understand Neo's actions in the last scene and what's going on with Agent Smith (a hint: he represents an older generation that only seems to be happy when they are making everyone else into copies of themselves...are you listening Boomers????). You'll cheer for the spirit of human courage in the face of overwhelming odds and certain defeat and understand that those are far more lasting values than cynicism and nassarcism. If you are little more than a brain stem and find TV shows like Friends to be intellectually stimulating then you should avoid this movie. You'll hate it and you'll go away mad because your fraternity or sorority membership won't make a difference. You'll still be on the outside trying to get in and you'll know it, which will make you really mad. The only thing you'll think was good was the S&M scene with the Merovingian and you won't understand most of it because you've never truly known what love is.

Ok...maybe that's a little harsh but, by golly, if you don't understand somethign you should keep your mouth shut and learn from those who have more wisdom that you. That's my opinion, I could be wrong.

The Physicist   Link Me    |

Monday, November 10, 2003

Tearin' it Up

Well, my cycling season has now officially come to a close. This last weekend me and my fellow cactus people went down to Claxton, Georgia to ride in the "Crusin' in the Country" weekend. For me, that meant my fourth attempt at the century distance. I've completed the 100 mile trek each year in under five hours and last year I was the first 100 miler to finish. My goal this year was to try and finish in under 4 hours and 30 minutes. This was a yet unrealized goal for me. I have gotten close when I rode with a larger group early in a century but I've never done better than 4:36 when I've had to ride over 30 miles alone. I didn't have anyone to ride with this year so I was doubtful that I would accomplish the goal this year.

Still, though, I set off with the goal in mind. For the the first 20 minutes or so I rode well but not anywhere near the 22.6 mph average I'd need to have to complete my goal. Then my legs began to feel better and my speed picked up. At around 45 minutes I was caught by one of the mythical "speedster tandems". What a blessing that was.

When you ride century rides, you sometimes hear more experienced riders talk about these two-person tandem bikes that are like manna from heaven sent by God. The reason they are so great is that they provide an unbelievable draft and since two people are pedaling they tend to go very fast. The thing is, I had never seen one. I have seen tandems but they were usually riden by a couple of older folks who were having a leisurely ride around the course. They were great to draft behind on a downhill but they died on even the slightest incline. On the flats, they usually drafted off of me and just barely at that. This time, though, I got caught by a speedster tandem. Two older guys just hammering along. For ten minutes I sat in their draft on the flats at 30 mph! When we hit a hill, I'd go to the front and pull at around 23 and let them rest. This lasted until the 22 mile rest stop where they pulled off for a break. I keep going thinking they'd have no problem catching me. I never saw them again. The good thing though was that it finished the job of loosening my legs up and getting me to the point where I could sustain a 25 mph average on the flats with the tailwind I had.

At the 50 mile rest stop, I caught the "fast group". It consisted of four guys who were off the front. I integrated in and found that they weren't really all that fast. Three of the four seemed to be drafting one guy for the most part. As I worked in, it seemed like they were all pretty content to let him and I do all the pulling. That was all well and good until we hit the first real hill. I took a regular, strong pull up the hill and they cracked. If they had been taking their turns pulling I might have sat up and waited but they were wheelsuckers and so I dropped all but one of them. It turned out that the other guy who had been pulling had done basically the same thing I had and was about as fed up with their lack of work as I was. So the two of us rode off and started working together.

At 65 miles we turned square into a 15 mph headwind. I checked my average speed and we were at 23.1 mph, well above the average speed I needed to make my goal. We had a lot of time in hand and now just had to hold onto it. So the battle was on. For the last ten miles my legs were cramping up and I was totally on the rivet but I kept turning the cranks over. We were taking 7 minute pulls and I kept thinking, " I need to just let this guy go and I'll finish on my own." Still every time I finished a pull, I'd sit in his draft and recover and have enough to pull through on the next time around. It turns out he was doing exactly the same thing.

The result was that I finished with him and did the century in 4 hours and 27 minutes. Since I started after him, I had the shortest century time for the second year in a row. I spent the rest of the day cramping up from my efforts. I've never hurt so badly after a ride, not even when I rode 200 miles in 11 hours. I don't think I'll ever attempt such a feat again but it's a great feeling to have done it.

Now, I get to rest for three weeks. The only time I'll spend on the bike will be for fun MTB rides with the "On Your Left" posse and my daily commutes to the college. Whew!

The Physicist   Link Me    |

Thursday, November 06, 2003

What a Week

It has been a very busy week for us at the Davies household. Some of that busy has been good, some bad and some was just, well, busy. We are involved in the College's production of A Christmas Carol. Originally, our role was supposed to have been to play the Fezziwigs and have a bit of fun but now it has ballooned to three roles for me, including the last lines of the play. I can't say that I'm totally happy with the turn of events as I don't really feel I have time to do the job as well as I'd like but the director needed us to step up and we'll do the best we can.

To add we add the unfortunate happenstance that our eldest dog, Canaan, has had something go wrong with her body. We don't know if it's a ruptured disk, a tumor or what but she has mostly lost her ability to walk. This makes doing all of our morning and evening stuff a lot harder. We are hopeful that some sort of steriod regimine might help as she's seen some improvement over the last couple of days but things are still looking bleak. The hardest part to this is that she looks so sad all the time since she can't move freely with the pack.

Finally, over the last several days I've been working with students, past and present, in our ministry on issues they are dealing with in their lives. I feel very blessed to be able to help out but it can be time consuming. It helps when I have a little heads up and can clear some things off of my schedule but that rarely happens. Since the students are usually higher priority that my laundry and grocery shopping, the daily living stuff often gets placed on the back burner. Usually, this isn't a problem with with all the other "busy"ness, it has stretched things more than I'd like.

This weekend is the final ride of the season. We go down to Claxton every year to do the Cruisin' in the Country century. It's a great weekend to unwind and relax and get in one more long ride. This year shouldbe no exception. I'm still trying to decide how I will ride the event but I like the idea of going hard one more time. I liked being the first century rider in last year. We'll see what happens. The best part is that when it is over, I'll have three weeks of R&R with only a little swimming and weightlighting to tire me out. The extra time and the lower stress on my body will be will be welcomed by all.

The Physicist   Link Me    |