Chad's spot for various thoughts, musings, poetry, ideas and whatnot

Monday, September 22, 2003

Look at the Booonnnesss!!!(say it in your best cheesy Monty Python scottish accent)

Yep, test time again. Last week and this week are test time in my classes. This is where I find out if my students have been taking me seriously or if they've been thinking, "Oh I know he says physics is the hardest subject we'll ever take but there's no way Newtonian motion will ever be as complex and difficult as what we have to do in Pool Cue Management or Social Group Fluid Dynamics class." My tests are the Vorpal Bunnies of Gordon College. Nothing comparies to them, outside of something from the Calculus II class. Three hours long (I'm not making this up) and filled with a fine variety of the most ravaging questions known to man. The interesting part is that none of the questions are "trick" questions (I have neither the time nor the energy to make up trick questions) but instead are the type of questions that leave you no real place to hide your ignorance or unpreparedness. Other than time spent with the material, there is no "Holy Hand Gernade" by which to "snuff it out."

After the exam, I'm giving only one A in PHYS1111. That'll get better as students start to realize what they've gotten themselves into. The scarier part is that about a third of the class got less than a 45% on the test, after the curve. These people want to be your doctors, vets and pharmacists. I don't like thinking of myself as a gatekeeper sort of professor but in these cases, I'm more than happy to uphold a standard. Even more amazing is that some of these students haven't dropped the class yet, and a vast majority of them need to. I hate the day I give the first exam back. There are all of these high test score, memorize your way to a better life, allied health students all waiting to see if they've somehow, once again, cheated grade death like they've been doing since high school. Oh come on, you know what I mean: never really studying the material until the night before and then magically pulling a 96 out of the hat so that you think you're golden. Heck, I know that's how I got through high school. Then they hit this class where memorization gets you a 30 on the test and you have to have been studying seriously for the last four weeks. They see their 48 and its like I've hit them between the eyes with a board-stunned and unable to parry. They've never seen a score like that, not even in their worst nightmares. I mean, they wake up screaming from dreams that involve test grades in the high 70's. The brain can't take it in and for about 5 minutes its gaping fish time.

At this moment I feel like crap, I really do. All these dreams and aspirations and all of the sudden the whole world comes crashing down. None of these students get to do what they want to do with their lives without passing through my class and now the possibility of that looks very slim indeed. I feel for them, I really do. Lord knows that I've been there. Many of them say, "I studied harder for this test than for anything in my entire life." And I have to tell them that the test doesn't lie, not one bit. They may have studied hard compared to their english comp class but what they'll have to do to pass this class is nothing compared to what they'll need to be able to do in Med School or the Pharm program at UGA. They feel like all of their lives they've been clearing an 18 foot pole vault bar and for the first time you show them what the 12 foot bar really looks like and its a lot higher up than they've been jumping. Its hard bad day all around. I went home Friday and spent the entire night sick, literally. Nausea, headache, aches and pains. While I may have had a touch of the flu, I truly believe that returning those tests had something to do with it.

Anyways, the moment is over and the class will go on. I'll lose about a third of the students and the rest will soldier on. Some will return in the spring to try again and others will change their dreams and careers because they just don't want to or can't work as hard as they need to. For those who stay in and don't give up, most will make it and actually grow by leaps and bounds. They'll finish out here and go on to professional school and do really well. Their fellow students in those programs will look at them and wonder how they learned to learn and work so hard. Most will forget this day ever happened and will chalk it up to their hard work and that's fine by me. Just as long as they learn to never take the work that goes into being a health care professional for granted.

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