Hello there. How's it going? I thought I'd write a post here. I'm not exactly sure why but I have this need to ramble on a bit about a few things that have been bouncing around in my head the last few days.
I've been thinking a lot about the whole God/faith/religion thing a lot lately. Probably that's tied to the fact that I'm back in the gym for my early training workouts which means I spend out 45 minutes on an exercise bike and I read while I'm spinning along. I just finished "Practitioners: Voices Within the Emerging Church" and I'm now reading Don Miller's latest book, "Searching for God knows what." Along with these I've been reading a really challenging book on prayer from the Orthodox (OC)tradition. The Miller book is really stretching me right now. It's amazing how his writing speaks to me. "Blue Like Jazz" was one of those books that I'll probably read every year for a while. To me it seems like Miller's a postmodern Augustine in that he speaks to his reader from within his relationship to God which has been a lot of places. I feel like that. I've always felt like I've been outside the evangelical faith movement even while I was a part of it. I felt like the evangelical god was too small for the God I had met while wandering through the forests of Oregon. Miller's experience is similar and it really helps me to know that I'm not some sort of freak or weirdo. I don't understand all these people who can just sit in a pew and hear some preacher talk about how Christ came so that we could have a bunch of "self-help" ideas.
The OC prayer book has convinced me though that while I see God as so much more than what you hear from so many bad preachers and narrow churches I am nowhere near really accessing that. I understand that God is very relational and not so transactional but I don't seem to be very good at being in that relationship. I seem to be a better husband than I am a Christian. I communicate with my wife a lot more regularly than I do with God. There was a chapter in "Practioners" that talk about a movement in the UK called 24/7 Prayer and all of the sudden I long to be in that kind of community. I want to be able to exist in the "place"/community where I can just pray and not have to organize it all. Reading the book on prayer from the OC tradition I have realized just how shallow my prayer life really is and I long for a lot more. The question is how to carve it out of a busy life. I think that as I finish up some of the commitments I have I'll not replace them and spend that time trying to grow a prayer life.
In something that probably relates, has anyone noticed how bad TV sucks? I've been watching more TV lately to see what's on (and because I've gotten a little too lazy) and so much of what everyone says is good TV really stinks. I watched Studio 60 and saw nothing compelling. It looked like a show by boomers, about boomers in the entertainment industry. Sort of a West Wing meets SNL sort of thing. The story was just banal (I only watched to see Sting play the lute-another boomer thing I suspect) and entirely generationally self-centered. The acting on TV has just gotten terrible (maybe it always was and I'm just now beginning to realize it). And the comnercials...who pays these people who make up the ads? For most of Tuesday night I kept looking at my wife after a commercial and asking, "Was that as stupid as I thought?" She didn't disagree with me once.
I've started back into training. Time in the gym and shorter base mile rides right now. For some reason I feel like this is so much a better use of my time than spending time on anything in pop culture and yet I struggle a bit to get on the bike and actually do it. Still, I like how I feel right now and I'm looking forward to next season. I enjoy going down into the gym and lifting a bit because it's different than just spinning my wheels and I like the feeling of getting rebalanced. I have a yoga/Pilates balance-ball workout I like to do during the base miles period of training. I pulled it out and did it last week and was surprised how little coordination and strength I had on any part of the workout that wasn't directly related to an one-the-bike movement. Tells me that I'm way out of balance nuerologically. Lifting and the yoga stuff should get that sorted out.
Well, I'll stop now before this gets any longer and more boring and more rambling and...well, you get the picture.
Thanks for reading and peace.
