Chad's spot for various thoughts, musings, poetry, ideas and whatnot

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

This blog is for those of you who don't get enough cycling coverage already...

So Big Jan Ullrich is on the sauce...his own sauce. DNA tests have matched him up with nine bags of blood keep by a Spanish doctor he denied having any involvement with. His lawyers now say that just because he had his blood at a doctor's office it doesn't mean he was going to put it back in his body the day before a big race to boost the oxygen carrying capacity of his blood to give him a big performance gain.

Riiiigghhhttttt! (Say it in your Dr. Evil voice for best effect.)

A guy just keeps nine bags of red blood cells at a doctor's office in a country he doesn't even live in just in case he happens to be stricken with rampant hemophilia while on a Barcelona bender? I understand Der Kaiser's lawyer is also selling beachfront property in Berlin for those who might be in the market.

Jan doesn't read this blog (though he should) but I'm going to give him a piece of advice anyway: Jan, follow the lead of David Miller and come clean. Co-operate with the cycling authorities. You don't have a lot to lose and you might actually be remembered as something other than a huge cheat. Tell your lawyer to shut up and man up to Sam Waterston in some television interview Law and Order style. He'll have some hottie ADA there to back him up and to provide some eye candy and you can have a heartfelt breakdown and blame it on cycling culture and Pevenage and the Belgian cycling mafia and the East German sports machine and all the rest and say that you wish you were half the man Jens Voight was. You can agree to give up the labs and the doctors you worked with in exchange for Waterston "taking the needle off the table" and spend the rest of your life in a self-imposed purgatory. Maybe even you can go around to German high schools and tell aspiring German cyclists to just say no to drugs and doping and to race locally for the fun of it. You can tell them how you were led down the path to perdition in the world of pro cycling where the drugs flowed like water in an underground river: treacherous and cold. You can tell them about a world were winning is everything and fairness is not getting caught.

A least, that's what I think you should do.

Thanks for Reading.

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